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Queen of the Stars

a Stargazer and a Dreamer

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~Chocolate Rocket~

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November 4th, 2008

The way we were...

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We'll never go back to the way we were. I gave colin up so that I could be with you. I wanted to be with you. I thought you could have made me happy. And you DID make me happy for that short amount of time. But that's all it was...a short amount of time. I'll never regret the things that we did, said, or felt. It means too much to me to let it go as a passing fancy and I'm really crushed by the fact that you turned into a total douchebag. You went from being the guy who would leave me flowers and a note to the guy who would rather drink yourself to the point of blackout rather than be with me. You told me you cared and it meant the world to me but then you said it and I had some doubts. Finally, you said it and I didn't believe it anymore, no matter how much you MAY have meant it, it meant nothing to me. You became the boy who cried wolf. Then you told me you loved me, you REALLY loved me, you couldn't let me go...and then you told me you wanted to be with her. I told you to fuck off and die, but I didn't mean it...I told you that I didn't care if I ever talked to you again, but I didn't mean it. You broke my heart and now all I can do is try to tape the pieces back together into an even more fragile entity than it was after Jake. So, I'm trying to be your friend. I can deal with that. I'm TRYING. But it's really fucking hard to do that when you get moody and depressed everytime you are around me, when you give me that sad puppydog face and the bittersweet smile accompanied by the tragic sounding, "Bye." FUCK YOU...I don't mean that, I'm not sure I could EVER mean that but it is the simplest and truest way for me to vent my frustrations to you. I'm trying to move on, but you make that way too hard.

I just don't understand and I don't think I ever will.

I (could have) Love(d) You,
the one that got away

August 5th, 2008

About that...

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Sleeping Beauty's Nightmares
I've realized that there are some things in life that no one can really help you with and the decision comes down to whatever you, and only you, choose. I have grown apart from him and closer to another, but there is still a hesitation in me that dreads him coming back, expecting me to feel the same. I don't feel the same. I'm not sure I will again. He never made a move and I wasn't going to wait forever. But how can you tell that to someone without making it sound offensive, even if it IS offensive? I've never had this problem before. There has never been more than one male counterpart in my life at any given time and this is really throwing me for a loop. I mean, I just don't feel the same.

toodles and tidbits,
moi

June 25th, 2008

2007
-Meet the roommate
-Move in day!
-Orientation for a week
-Last registration session
-Classes start
-First frat party
-First drunken pass out
-Drunken taking out the trash
-Bye Bye Birdie
-Catholic boyfriend that became a stalker...awesome.
-Mid terms
-RIP Thad
-Reading days
-Opposite switch night
-Finals
-Winter Break
-New Years at the cabin
-Drunken escapades
-Scat session of Max and Erik
-KGB Fountain
-Awesome

2008
-Back to school
-Sorority Dessert party
-Meaghan+Erik=forced to rush
-War and Peace
-Cheri!
-EOT Up Against the Wall
-Pref day
-High Tea
-stripper???
-Bid Day Feb.8, 2008! ZX PC'08!!
-Pledging begins
-3 boys in my room
-Drunken kiss
-Suspicion of marijuana?! WTF?!
-Student conduct board
-Off the hook
-Big sister night...Rose Family!
-RIP Mrs. Stendebach
-Finishing night!
-Champagne party
-Drunken make out captured on camera.
-Big Brother night
-On Point
-OMG! Finally after more than a year, I GOT LAID. Fuck sake, I thought it'd never happen.
-Cute stuff
-Disney mixer
-ZX Beach '08
-CCI Sit In...down with the tyranny.
-All purple
-Awkward turtle relationship
-Death Valley: The Revenge of Bloody Bill
-Move out day

All in all, a pretty good year...peace out Herndon. Thomas here I come :)

Toodles and tidbits,
moi

February 5th, 2008

(no subject)

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It has now been one year, two months, and 8 days.

As I've stated before, I need to get laid.

Thank you.

November 27th, 2007

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It has now officially been one year and I need to get laid.


Thank you.

March 27th, 2007

Hey. Ok, so I just got my financial aid awards letter from Trinity University. They are awarding me some money but here's the catch: my parents are still gonna have to pay alot. I don't want to become an internet beggar but it's seems like that might be the only thing left to do.

If you have any spare change that you don't want, I'd be really grateful if you offer it to me. It may sound cliche but anything helps. I feel horrible asking for money via the internet but in our day and age, it's the fastest way to spread news. Plus, I think it's the only legal way to get alot of money fast cuz last time I checked, prostitution was illegal :)

♥ Gina

January 2nd, 2007

2006 in a Nutshell:
Amazing movies
Amazing people
West Side Story
Edith Stein
Summer school
Midnight TP excursions
Rockstar Juiced
Condoms
Cheating
Thursday night. nuff said.
Sickness
PALs
1 year
Homecoming
We ♥ Our Brahma Boys
Single
Haircut
Bitchin times with the girls
Happy New Year!

2007:
Not-so-sober Vinny
Sleep
Senior Prom
Graduation
College
Who knows?


I'm gonna be just fine. and that makes me happy.

Toodles and tidbits, my loves,
Asian

August 21st, 2006

(no subject)

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So this year is already rockin.

Being a senior won't hit me till second semester(at least) and I'm kinda glad. I miss being a sophomore. Those were the days when I had so much in front of me still. I'd just been cast in my first play, I was in the top 5% of my class, and everything was pretty chill. I kinda feel like those were the last days of my childhood and I squandered them away. I tought that my last days would be in my senior year but instead my senior year is being spent applying for college, stage managing, and just trying to cling to that which I love. Just having fun anf being a kid. I want to still be able to play kickball, capture the flag, freeze tag, and tug-o-war. I want to swing, slide, and monkeybar to my heart's delight. I want to spell delight as de-lite or of as uv. I want to go back and replay it all. In the words of Emily in "Our Town", "They just don't understand". People really don't understand that life goes so fast. You don't realize until it's much too late. And by the time you do notice, it's much to late.

I like choir. Sulfage is odd but for the most part I get it. Orchestra is even pretty neat. I'm gonna audition for 1st violin this year for region. Oh god. But it's do-able. Government is sucha blow off class. Why is it even required??? PALs is awesome. I'm really liking it. The people are cool and they are such a breath of fresh air from the theatre group. English is interesting. Mr Hart is like an old grandfather. He takes such pride in everything that he says. It's so cute! I love it when teachers just enjoy what they do because then the class is usually more interesting. Theatre is theatre. Whatever. I have a feeling that it's going to be like every other year when the beginning of the year is really enthusiastic and raring to go but then it just kinda dies as the plays start. Oh well. That's what the class is for. MEDIA IS AMAZING. 'nuff said. Environmental systems has the possibilityt of being fun but right now it lags a bit. Oh well, maybe after she has her baby it'll pick up.

So far, a good year. I think this will be my best yet. At least I hope so.

Toodles and tidbits,
Gina

August 6th, 2006

What a Beautiful Day

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Faraway...I feel your beating heart
All Alone
Beneath the crystal stars
Staring into space
What a lonely face
I'll try to find my place with you

What a beautiful smile
Can I stay for awhile?
On this beautiful night
We'll make everything right
My beautiful love, My beautiful love

Larger than the moon - my love for you
Worlds collide as heaven pulls us through
The Secret of our world is written in the stars
I'm carrying your heart in mine

What a beautiful smile
Can I stay for awhile?
On this beautiful night
We'll make everything right
My beautiful love

Maybe a greater thing will happen
Maybe all will see
Maybe our love will catch like fire
As it burns through me
(3x)

What a beautiful smile
Can I stay for awhile?
On this beautiful night
We'll make everything right

What a beautiful smile
Can I stay for awhile?
On this beautiful night
We'll make everything right
My beautiful
La-la-la-la-love
La-la-la-la-love
My beautiful
La-la-la-la-love
La-la-la-la-love
My beautiful love



Had a photo shoot today with Nanna, Jaime, Clint, and Blake. I couldn't have had more fun. Those kids are crazy and I love 'em. I finally got to see Jaime for like the first time this summer...it's about damn time! I'm gonna miss her when she goes off to Trinity. Even though she's only like 10 mintues away, she's gonna be living in a completely different world. Clint and I talked for about 2 and a half hours about some pretty random stuff ranging anywhere from Halo and Final Fantasy 10 to Douche or Dracula. Long story behind that last one...anywho, I really enjoyed myself today. It was quite lovely being a model and not feeling really self conscious or anything.

The PALs retreat was cool. It wasn't great but it wasn't horrible. It just was. I got to hang out with a completely different group of people. I think that this year is gonna be a blast for the PALs. We really have fun with eacg other even though we are from different social groups from around the school. PALs as a group advocates the intraction of people from various social standings in the school and even though it sounds like it wouldn't work because of social stigmas and stereotypes, we all seem to have stuff in common and we get along quite well. I'm glad. I need to get away from the drama of the drama department.

Goodness gracious, school starts in a week! I need to have as much fun now as I possibly can!!!

Well, I'm getting a bit tired.

Toodles and Tidbits!
~*Gina*~

July 22nd, 2006

(no subject)

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Ever After

Before:

    ***       ****     
   *   **     **   *
  *     **   **     *
  *      ** **      *       .           .
  *       ***       *      . .         . .
   *               *    ...   ...   ...   ...
    *             *              . .
     *           *                . 
      *         *
       *       *
        *     *
         *   *
          * *
           *

After:
    ****            ****     
   *   **          **   *
  *     **        **     *
  *      **   >  **      *      
  *       *   <  *       *     
   *          >         *    ......................................
    *         <        *              
     *        >       *                
      *       <      *
       *      >     *
        *     <    *
         *    >   *
          *   <  *
           *  >
              <
              >


why did you have to be so perfect?

December 27th, 2005

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You are Magenta... (Patricia Quinn) damn you're cool
You are Magenta. The lip gloss that sank the
titanic.


Which Rocky Horror character are you?
brought to you by Quizilla


yay for being back to LJ!!! well well, going out with hankipanky, hickey nikki, clint, luis, and the zach meister!

Toodles and tidbits!

~*Gina bambina*~

August 8th, 2005

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Happy Birthday Zach and David!

I'm dealing with the realization that in a few days, some of my best freinds in the world are leaving for college and that they won't be apart of my everyday life anymore. And this is really depressing me. When I joined theatre, I only knew Jaime. I felt soooo left out of the group but then slowly they took me in and they became my family away from my family. I got the inside jokes and I could say "Remember when...?" and they would remember when. But now, I'm coming to terms with the fact that it's all changed now. So... To the Class of 2005. Congratulations. It went by fast didn't it? I love all of you and I'm gonna miss you guys so much.

I think I'll go to bed now...SOME people have to start school in a week...ugh.

Toodles and tidbits.
~*Gina*~

July 25th, 2005

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So, I mos def have not updated in ages so here's the low down on recent events:

Just got back from Port A where i spent the weekend with my best friend Briana. We partied like it was 1999 and got hit on by a 12 year old. My parents fought a bit on the way down there and while we were there so that kinda ruined the mood for awhile. I hate it when my parents ruin a perfectly good trip because they want me to do something that I don't want to do. Question: does anybody else NOT like to wear shorts but then your parents get really pissy when you don't? My parents always tell me that I need to wear shorts to be comfy at the beach but ya know I think I'm the only one who knows when I'm comfy or not and I am definitely NOT comfy in shorts. Grrrr...

Last night, went to Zach's house to watch The Grudge with Briana, Austin, Ryan, Zach, and Kat. Soooooo much fun...I love hangin' with those cool cats.

Then, tomorrow I have a dress code skit rehearsal at Jaime's house. So sad that she's grounded! :( But fear not! She will be emancipated soon!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ALIX!!!!!!!!!! THE BIG 1-6!!!!!

Well...I think that's it. I am shocked by the Harry Potter book. I cried for like an hour...not really but I felt like crying.

Toodles and tidbits!

~*Gina*~

July 17th, 2005

(no subject)

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Amelia, you're right...it's too tempting for the weak. I kinda feel bad now.


BUT!!! I guarantee that anyone who reads the book will totally dig it and surprises lurk round every corner.

July 6th, 2005

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such an awesome song...

I'm 15 for a moment
Caught in between 10 and 20
And I'm just dreaming
Counting the ways to where you are
I'm 22 for a moment
She feels better than ever
And we're on fire
Making our way back from Mars
15 there's still time for you
Time to buy and time to lose
15, there's never a wish better than this
When you only got 100 years to live
I'm 33 for a moment
Still the man, but you see I'm a they
A kid on the way
A family on my mind
I'm 45 for a moment
The sea is high
And I'm heading into a crisis
Chasing the years of my life
15 there's still time for you
Time to buy, Time to lose yourself
Within a morning star
15 I'm all right with you
15, there's never a wish better than this
When you only got 100 years to live
Half time goes by
Suddenly you’re wise
Another blink of an eye
67 is gone
The sun is getting high
We're moving on...
I'm 99 for a moment
Dying for just another moment
And I'm just dreaming
Counting the ways to where you are
15 there's still time for you
22 I feel her too
33 you’re on your way
Every day's a new day...
15 there's still time for you
Time to buy and time to choose
Hey 15, there's never a wish better than this
When you only got 100 years to live

      
teen girl squad is love
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(no subject)

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La-dee-da! Today I woke up bright and early to taaake my female parental to get the car from the shop. Then I had lunch with the lovely Sara and then on to Starbucks. I love hanging with her...so much to catch up on! Casey the male waitress, leading on Christians, and twists of fate(four years in the making). Discussed the Robert issue then, sat stealth like in the bushes. My, my, a lovely afternoon indeed.

Toodles and tidbits!

~*Gina*~

"Whatever is meant for you, will wait for you"

July 3rd, 2005

(no subject)

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Dear Robert,
I just found out that you intend on enlisting in the Army as soon after July 29 as possible. Why? I know that you've wanted to do this for a long time now but why can't you just wait one more year? Why not at least finish high school? You are so brilliant but you would rather enlist and just settle for your GED. I really respect the fact that you are willing enough to sign yourself over to be in the Armed Forces, but I just wish you would put it off for one year and come back for one last year of carefree fun. Robert, I care about you too much to let this happen...you know that.

I know that things got weird between us the past year or so and I wish that had never happened. Being around you always made me feel content and happy. I always felt safe when you hugged me and I don't want to think about what may happen if you get stationed overseas in the midst of battle and all of a sudden I don't have you anymore. I think that if something like that were to happen, I wouldn't know how to react and I might go into a shock and never come out. Robert, you have no idea how much I care about you. When you "accidentally" kissed me, it turned my world upside down and I couldn't stop smiling for days. It made me just grin to think that you might have feelings for me. I was too scared to let myself show any emotion for you back then and that's what I regret most of all. I wish you had known how I felt but I was afraid to let myself feel anything. One of my biggest fears is to be hurt and rejected. I didn't want to risk that with you. I had already been rejected most of my life and I didn't want that again so i tried to harden my heart and be indifferent to your advances. But it's only now, when I realize that anything can happen in the next four years, that I want to tell you how much I love you and pray that you are protected from harm. I don't think I can say anymore because if you don't know how I feel by now, then you probably never will...but I hope you know.

♥Gina

July 2nd, 2005

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Ow. Sunburns hurt like a biotch. All I want right now is a huge bag of ice and a fan.
And in other news, I intend on blowing stuff up this weekend, sleeping and nursing a sunburn since I apparently can't go into the sun for more than 10 minutes without getting lobsterized.

Toodles and painful tidbits.
~*Gina*~

June 29th, 2005

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The Nightmare Before Christmas is haunting love.

by [info]this_is_fucked


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Oh how I love it all! Well, in 8 days, I can Legally drive more than one person. Heck yes I can! Oh my goshens I can't wait. I got a crapload of fireworks last night con mi padre. The guy working the stand knew everything about fireworks and his little daughter was trying to steal the ones that the girl was ringing up. So funny

So, I'm spending the night at Tayler's on Thursday, my mum comes back on Friday, I'm going with Nanna to Canyon Lake on either Friday or Saturday, shooting off fireworks on Monday, and I know there's something else but I can't remember what it is right now. Hmm...more on that later

I really hope that I can go see Land of the Dead with Nikki even though David says that it was a complete disappointment but Larry said that it was fairly humorous. Eh, i hope.

So, I've definitely decided that I hate Ms. Willis. Oh my gosh she should NOT be teaching a speech class. She said the following in class on Monday:
"If you think my ego is big, just wait till you get to college...compared to the teachers there, my ego is macroscopic"

MICROscopic= "really small"
MACROscopic= "really big"

right. and she's teaching AP english? good lord, what is our world coming to? anywho, she lives in my neaighborhood and I saw her house the other day...it's purple and turquoise. Plus she's an insane animal rights activist claiming that animals need more love, support, etc., than humans. Ok...the lady is crazed.

Well, I must be going.

Toodles and Tidbits!
~*Gina*~

June 22nd, 2005

(no subject)

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1.what is the first thing you think when you wake up?: oh god..am I late for school? 
2. anything unusual?: not really
3. do you pick out your clothes the night before school?: where's the fun in that? one should ALWAYS pick an outfit out when given only 30 to get out of the house in order to get to school on time;)
4. do you try your best to look cute for school?: most of the time matters if Im in the mood and if its an A or B day

S c H o o L
1. what color is your backpack?: pink
2. do you try your best when it comes to school work?: matters what class
3. do you listen or doodle?: i am the doodle queen
4. do you be quiet?: only when I sleep
5. do you eat your cafeteria food, or go out?: grilled chicken and cheese sandwiches in snackbar line
6. what do you do when school's over?: club meetings, auditions, just talk with my friends

W h E n  Y o U  c O m E  h O M e  A r E  y O U ..
1. miserable? on a few rare occasions 
2. happy? most of the time
3. tired? most of the time
4. left alone? a lot 

O t H e R 
1. do you take walks around your neighborhood sometimes?: yes
2. what are some hobbies of yours?: dancing, acting, being with my friends and having a good time
3. do you collect anything?: the flattened penny things, pictures, books, knives/daggers
4. what do you do in your spare time?: talk on aim, hang out with my friends, go to movies
5. are you in love, or at least falling?: no

b E d T i M e 
1. what do you do before you go to bed?: take out contacts, change into pjs, watch tv
2. do you kiss your parents/guardians goodnight or just say goodnight?: say goodnight
3. what way do you sleep(ex: on your side, tummy)?: curled up on my side

i N f O r M a T i O n
1. name: Gina aka Star, Cookie, Asian, Sunflower
2. single or taken: single
3. sex: female
4. bday: october 10, 1988
5. sign: libra bitches!
6.siblings: none
7. hair color: dark brown
8. eye color: Brown
9. shoe size: anywhere from 7 to 8 1/2 
10. height: 5'5"

R e L a T i O n S h I p S
1. best friends?: Nanna, Liz, Marleen, Jaime
2. do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend?: no
3. did you have a crush?: heck yes I do...Clint is gorgeous

F a S h I o N  s T u F f
1. where is your favorite place to shop for clothes: wherever there's a sale
2. where is your favorite place to shop for shoes: payless or buffalo exchange
3. any tattoos or piercing: 2 piercings (one on each ear)

s P e C i F i C s
1. do you do drugs?: nope
2. what kind of shampoo do you use?: herbal essences fruit fusions in starfruit papaya
3. what are you most scared of?: snakes, rejection, not doing anything exciting or influential in my life
4. what are you listening to right now?: local god by everclear
5. who is the last person that called you?: my dad
6. who is the last person that you called?: briana
7. how many buddies are online right now?: 20
8. what would you change about yourself?: hmmm be skinnier?

F a V o R i T e S
1. color: GREEN!
2. food: sushi, cherry garcia ice cream, strawberry yogurt
3. boys names: gabriel, christian
4. girls names: Francesca, Eowyn, Jocelyn
5. subjects in school: world history was my fave (Wetmore was awesome!) and theatre
6. animals: wombat
7. sports: volleyball
8. group: too many at the moment
9 song: same answer as previous


C u R r E n T
clothes: mac drama club t-shirt, blue jeans
music: R+J soundtrack
make-up: none
smell: strawberries
desktop picture: gone with the wind
cd in player: R+J soundtrack
dvd in player: singin in the rain

L a S t | P e r S o N
you touched: hugged my dad
hugged: my dad
you imed: idk
you kissed: my grandma
you yelled at: myself
talked to on the phone: my mom

F i R s T S
first screen name: firebird2713
first self-purchased album: spice girls! 
first pet: midnight (beta fish)
first piercing: first hole in my ears when i was like 14
first big trip: went to austria w/orchestra last spring break 
last movie seen at the movies: Batman Begins
last movie seen at home: singin in the rain
last beverage drank: evian
last phone call: my mum
last tv show watched: cops
last shoes worn: tropical converse
last item bought: wallet at agaci
last ice cream eaten: i haven't had ice cream in like 4 months...so idk
last shirt worn: mac drama club t-shirt

Y o U r   R o O m
1. what color are your walls?: blue n covered in posters (LOTR, Pirates of the Caribbean, X-Files)and COVERED in pictures of mis amigos
2. what color is your bedspread/sheets?: one quilt is blue with paisley, one is watercolor mosaic, one is the astrology guide...this list goes on and on
3. what color is your rug/carpet?: my carpet is beige
4. any posters/bulletin boards/designs on your walls?: pictures of friends, the posters are listed on number 1, programs from the shows taped to my closet border,feather boas, scarves, shamrock lights, stars everywhere.
5. do you have a TV?: no
6. do you have a phone?: no
7. do you have your own computer?: crappy laptop
8. do you have a desk?: yes but i've only used it like once in 10 years
9. where are your most treasured belongings in your room?: pictures of my friends, my library of books, journals
10. what are your most favorite things in your room?: movie posters, books, random feathers, and of course my pictures
11. do you have any fancy lights in your room?: shamrock lights and a blacklight

MY PERFECT GUY.
1. hair color: it doesn’t matter...could be green for all I care...then again i love green
2. eye color: i only ask that I can fall into his eyes and never want to escape
3. height: taller than me
4. six pack: would be nice
5. long or short hair: hmmm lol doesn’t matter but not too long
6. glasses: doesn’t matter
7. piercings: none
8. scars: huh?
9. eyebrows: uhhhh yeah I want him to have some lol and have 2 of them not a unibrow
10. big butt or little: lol i don’t know
11. chest hair: um who cares
12. buff or skinny: in between 
13. straight teeth, gap: straight lol
14. funny or serious: funny but serious when he needs to be
15. party or stay at home: a lil bit of both
16. should he cook or bake: a little
17. should he have a best friend: of course
18. should he have a lotta girlfriends: not ALOT but some i guess
19. outgoing or shy: outgoing but shy can be cute too
20. sarcastic or sincere: sarcastic with others but sincere to me 
21. should he love his mother: yes, who doesn’t love their mom?
22. should he watch chick flicks: if its with me
23. would he be a smoker: NO!
24. would he drink: that could be fun 
25. would he swear: I know I do
26. would he play with your hair: aww cute 
27. one or more girls at a time: definitely just ONE and it should be ME
28. would he pay for dates: if he’s sweet but he doesn’t have to all the time
29. does he kiss on the first date: if he’s lucky
30. where would you go to dinner: wherever hewants...surprises are fun 
31. would he bring you flowers: awww I would so love that!
32. would he lay under the stars with you: um hello. It's only written on my life list tat I find a guy who would do that with me 
33. would he write poetry about you: if he wants but not all that time cuz then it would turn into some weird emo attachment thing
34. would he call you hunny, sweetie, or baby: sure but not to a sickening extent 
35. would he hang out with you and YOUR friends: oh yes
36. would you hang out with him and HIS friends: heck yes!
37. will he walk you to the door at the end: he better
38. holding hands: aw yes
39. would he watch the sun rise with you: le sigh...i'm such a hopeless romantic

 

ok so i dyed some of my hair blonde... i think it looks purty spiff. However, i now have to stop this nonsense and get bak to working on my speech presentation for tomorrow...what a damnable project!

 

Toodles and tidbits!

~*Gina*~

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